12 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. When I was little, my favorite book was "Are You My Mother?" Around the same time, my parents told me I was adopted. The seeds of angst were planted early.

2. I have food enthusiasms. For two solid months, I'll eat Oreos every night (about 8) with a tall glass of milk. Then I won't eat another Oreo for six months. One month it may be Pop Tarts, the next, chocolate ice cream.

3. I obsessively watch American Idol every season.

4. My wife is a Daughter of the American Revolution, descended from patriots on both sides of her family. I am descended from Swedish people. When her ancestors were fighting for a new nation, mine were fishing.

5. My dinner conversation is 50% original, 50% quotes from my favorite movies and television shows. I think it's a nice balance; my family does not. This year I was fond of blurting out, as Sandy passed the mashed potatoes, "I am the danger!"

6. When I help my son with his essays, his grades go DOWN. I am still struggling with this fact.

7. My dog likes to hold hands.

8. Nothing creeps me out more than a hair clog.

9. I talk to mean reviewers. I know, I know, they can't hear me, but I still argue with them. "I am the one who knocks!"

10. I've lived in the following places: Lakeland, Florida; Tallahassee; Chicago; Winter Haven, Florida; Knoxville; and Gainesville. I liked Knoxville the best.

11. It took me four tries to get through The Lord of the Rings. Then another two or three to understand who everybody was and what all the fuss was about with that ring.

12. My sons' names all begin with the letter J.